My phone issues

My phone revived itself last night. Thank goodness cus I was about to just buy an iPhone 4s lol. Well, I'm still gonna do it, but now I get to buy myself some time :)

Today is my anniversary. We will be celebrating tomorrow instead because he and I will be working all day today.

Other than that, I am currently obsessed with playing the piano. I desire to learn more and more. Also uber thankful that my mom forced me into those piano lessons.

Let's see, today I was feeling very distracted because I had work. This is a great thing, so now I'm not all moping around with an aching body. Although my night was going so well until I some conversation I had about having babies came up. What the.. lol.

For today, and because where I am in my life, a baby is out of the question. I don't care who it is lol, I refuse to get pregnant in this time of my life. There's no better way to kill a conversation than to start talking about me wanting somebody's baby or relationship stuff.

I do love babies though. I'll baby sit for you, play with your baby and stuff, but my own.. that's just wrong timing.

Whatever. My tummy hurts. Bed time for me.

-m

My Day + Christina and Sam

Good evening!

I'm having withdrawal symptoms. My phone is broken and I have no way to get to Instagram and texting peoples. All I have left is my MetroPieCeofShit phone haha... Ahh, ironically enough it is the one that stood by me after all the headache my Verizon has caused me. No biggie. I'm getting my iPhone 5 soon, suckas!! Wooooo :)

Which reminds me, should I pre-order it now? Actually you know what, I'm gonna get the iPhone 4s instead lol. I don't care too much for the iPhone 5 and it's taking forever. I can see my HTC Incredible trying so hard to revive itself. Starting up half way and then turning off :( It's like watching my baby die over and over again..

Today I finally went to the bank to deposit my checks lol. It's been in my purse for like a thousand years I figured it was time I finally let it go. Maybe you're wondering if I finally made it to the gym.. hahaha. I didn't. I had to go to Downtown LA today to meet with some cool folks. Run some errands there and then to Glendale. Afterwards went to Pepboys to buy oil change stuff cus I'm boutta get my oil changed by myself. I'm a big girl now. Nothing too interesting happened to me today.

Oh actually, I'm getting people sick. Woops, sorry guys.

I am pooped!! Good night. I love you. Let's all dance in a circle and be happy.

Listen to this, too. Homegirl is on point!!

-m

Umm...

My room is a huge mess. Clothes everywhere. My laundry is in the hamper and I'm glad it's there. They tend to accumulate all on their own. Shoes everywhere. I see my heels, flats, running shoes, more flats, and a left shoe. I wonder where the right shoe wandered off to..

I really need to put curtains in my room. It's so damn bright every morning. Don't get me wrong, I am all for sunlight and seeing "stars" at night from my bed, but at 8am (when normal people wake up) I am just in the deepest part of my sleep and I hate when the sun wakes me from it. I said "stars" because here in LA you can't really see the stars in the night sky because all the street lights are too bright and not to mention the thick ass layer of fog above us lol. Though I did see a shooting star some time last week. Thousands of them happen every night, but there are only some that we can see.

I finally went to Target today. I bought pink lemonade and a minty blue nail polish. I'm getting sick of these white ones I'm wearing. I'm also feeling very irritable this evening. Oh and I didn't get to go to the gym. I wonder when I'm gonna stop having shitty mood swings. Could it be? Aunt Gemima is visiting? Hmm.. perhaps.

Plans for tomorrow:
-massive cleaning
-gym
-umm go out and do stuff I guess

-m

The thing that reminds me to keep looking forward instead of chasing the past is that if someone wants to be there, they would be. Simple as that.

Wanna know something? Ahh I'm such an idiot. *surprise*

Isn't it weird that you could fool yourself. It's one thing to think lies to yourself, but you can never really believe them since you will always know the truth. I guess it's possible to think it through so much to the point where you've just ended up believing it. I'm just gonna shrug that off.

F you life. Why you gotta be so misleading? Eh I blame myself. Had I been a little more stronger then it wouldn't be this way. By the way, I hate this whole backwards and forwards thing in my head where I have a full-blown argument with just myself. And now I'm typing it on here for the world to witness my insanity.

Does anyone even care at all anymore? I mean for peoples' feelings apart from their own. Or have we all just stopped giving a fuck about each other? I notice that the only reason people would care to involve themselves is if they benefit something from it. Whether it be a striking topic for the next gossip girl, or just for entertainment. I find that there are none, if not close to none, that would really care to help or just lend an ear. That makes my heart sad.

I'm just on my bed. My bed that's full of stuff from yesterday. Clothes, laptop case, notebook, purse, keys. They've all intertwined themselves within my comforter. Yeah, so what if I sleep with a comforter in mid-summer? I can see my hair dryer on the floor and my dog's bed from the corner of my eye. I miss my old dog. Peebo would always know what to do. She would comfort me and let me be myself. Brownie just kinda sits there and if not that, she's always hyper and wanting to play. I guess cus she's still a puppy, right?

I am feeling quite nostalgic. I'm not sure if I'm enjoying it. I refuse to listen to songs from 2006-7 lol. Ahhh! I'm so... gross. My selfishness is so disgusting. Gotta let that one go already, Mon. This is not healthy. Or maybe it is? Is it healthy to be this way? Even for a little while? Maybe it would be a bad thing when it gets to a whole week and still being all emotional. Gotta drown myself in the gym once again. Tomorrow, I'm going to the gym. Maybe I'll go around 8. No, I WILL GO AT 8.

I played the piano again today. Usually I ignore that dust collector, but today was different. I had a lot of things I wanted to play on the piano. I started with a version of "Titanium" by David Guetta and Sia. Then to Adele's "Someone Like You" lol. I continued with Bach. I ended with Sonatina in G Major courtesy of Mr. Ludwig van Beethoven. Attempted Mozart's Sonata 16, but it was obvious then that I needed to practice. I recall playing that when I was in music school, but I was 13 at the time.

When Peebo left, I played the piano every night all night for 2 months. I stopped playing when Brownie was given to me. Hmm, was it that or was it cus my neighbor and I started hanging out at the pool in the middle of the night?



I know that I'm allergic to flowers, but I wish someone would give me some. It's the little stuff that I like, not so much as huge grand gestures, but simple ones that make such a big statement. I love those. I love when I get serenaded, or taken out on a date where the guy feeds you. I like getting kissed at the back of my neck. With that said, Family Guy here I come!

-m

Updates from last night

I'm feeling much better now. Sorry for all that unnecessary display of emotion down there, but I am a girl and I do feel a lot. Often times I feel strongly about something, I will feel the need to blog about it lol.

Got down to the root of things, I do care deeply for him but not in that way anymore. We had our chance at love once before and at the time I was too young to really fully understand much of anything. Now that I'm older I've discovered brand new things in life that I truly enjoy. Like his friendship, for instance. I am glad I have a friend in him because that would be a darn shame if I had that much love for someone once upon a time and suddenly we can't even be friends.

I wonder what the future holds. So many things to wonder about. It's exciting and frightening at the same time. I wonder if he reads my blogs. God I hope not.. lol. How embarrassing. Although he did mention before he saw the decoupage thing. Well anyway, I'm just glad for whatever happened. I'm not sorry that it happened or hoped it was any different. I think it was fine the way it was.

Now down to other things. I am going all out this week on my workouts. I recently discovered I can do pull-ups! So if you can imagine my excitement has just went above the limit. I'm currently hyped up. I have a workout tomorrow morning at 9 and I can't wait to go.

There's nothing more important than knowing why you do the things you do. (He said that to me a few times before, too.) I could not agree more! I have yet to pin point exact reasons for doing things I do. I try really hard to explain myself with the words I know and I hope that I get my point across to those I speak with.

I have to sleep now lovers!
Good night, I love you!
-m

Oh nothing, just awake STILL

What the hell! What is wrong with people!!! :( More importantly, what the hell is wrong with me? Why am I not over this yet.. I tried so hard to forget you and for a while you didn't exist. Then you existed again.. Then now you feel so present.

When we split, I felt like my world fell straight on my face. In fact, my recovery period took longer than the actual relationship. I cried myself to sleep at night, every night. My eyes were constantly puffy. My teachers thought I was doing drugs before coming to first period cus my eyes were always red. I lost weight, a lot of weight. Became desperate for friends and used them as distractions. All I wanted was you. Then after you, all I ever looked for in people were you. What the fuck.

I wish we could re-do things and see how that ends up. I miss you kissing the back of my neck, only you found that spot. Only you could suck me back into this black hole that I somehow escaped. Maybe if I was everything you'd ever want, you'd feel this way about me, too. It's only this time in my life when I feel like a masochist with raging hormones lol. So what, I find humor in this. Someone's gotta.

The Last 2 Days

Your first love, I think will always be that.

Anyway, I was pretty confident in myself only because I knew how hard it was for me to get over the relationship being a bust. Told myself a few times that it was impossible for me to feel anything about anyone. Then I went out there being completely vulnerable (only I didn't know that at the time) and susceptible to all things about him. Isn't it so weird that 5 years later could feel like yesterday? Possibly I am overreacting, and maybe not. I will always feel that connection with him no matter what. I'll also always have that familiar feeling around him. We were each others' first love, at least that's how I understand it. So to me that means that it is impossible for me to forget him. Wow I'm such an emotional wreck lol. I'd feel sorry for myself, but I know I can choose not to feel this way except it seems like I almost enjoy this "cruel and..." crap I forgot what he said word for word.

I guess I just missed him so much. Then I got used to him not being there so I ended up learning to live without him. Cus obviously you can't just "unlove" someone. Duh people, it's not a button..

I thought that it was so cool for us to text and for me not to feel absolutely anything for him. I thought, "I'm so proud of myself! Woo!" *sigh. I'm still proud of myself, regardless but I mean, I gave in so quick -__- stupid connection. Stupid me -_-


and you thought the previous post was serious.. lol

Some Serious Stuff Went Down

My Mac doesn't have internet. I am currently using my dad's hp laptop because this one can pick up wifi. For whatever reason my Mac laptop doesn't pick up wifi signals right now. I will make an appointment with the genius bar for Friday.

Things that happened lately:
Internet ran away from my laptop.
Gained a few pounds. Kill me now. I haven't been going to gym as often as I should because I got really busy with work. I started getting back into it last weekend.
Got a recording set thingy. Also got the recording mic. Just gotta start recording stuff!
Painted my nails white today. It makes me happy to see that I'm trying new things because normally I stay on the safe side of colors. Like nude.

Here are some pictures :

My white nails. They make my hands look tanner than they are lol. They're nice though :)

This is a chick that just wandered into my backyard. There are 2 of them, but the other is hiding inside the grassy area. My neighbor owns a thing of chicken and they come into my yard often. Cute little things. They certainly can run for their lives.

He lost over 20 pounds in 2 1/2 months. He has a very disciplined work out and diet. I'm gonna be following his footsteps this week.

 

 Okay, I'm pooped. Good night folks!

 

-m

DIY Decoupage Drawer Thing

This was given to us by our friend Roger who is currently moving. Thank you Roger! Granted it is not in the best condition, however! Why waste it? Plus it was given. Who am I to reject anything :) Anyway, I decided while I was in zumba today that I was going to use it. How, you ask?

I took out the drawer thingies and cleaned it. Took out excess dust stuff, blah blah.

 Also I found an old book upstairs that everyone forgot existed. I tore out the pages with the most words. I placed them all on top so that it covers the whole top part.

 I bought Mod Podge from Michael's today. This is matte, not glossy. Although half way through I ended up changing my mind and wanted glossy. Luckily I had some glaze stuff for when I make my paper beads. It's is also a sealer.

Step 1: I removed all the paper from on top of the thing.
Step 2: I sprayed one coat of Mod Podge all over.
Step 3: I placed the paper on top of the thingy just so it covers all the white.
*tip* If the paper is going to over lap another paper, make sure to spray an extra coat of Mod Podge.
*tip* Also, try to fit all the ones with the most words in the center. The white margins I used to stick on the sides of the drawer thingy.
Step 4: Continue all the way down to the legs of the thing. I ran out of Mod Podge towards the end, so I ended up using the glaze that I was talking about earlier, Multi-Purpose Sealer by Americana. I applied it with a paint brush.

Since it is still not shiny at the top and I wanted it to be, I glazed the top with the same Multi-Purpose Sealer and it became shiny. I like it :) It got really late though, so I wasn't able to do something fun for the inside. For now it looks nice that way since the drawers would be covering the inside. I haven't done anything to the drawers yet. Maybe I'll use fabric paint to make it teal-ish.

Well there's the finished one, so far. This was really simple and if you decide to do this, make sure you have enough Mod Podge lol.

Supplies:
1 can of Mod Podge Matte (should've got 2 and I should've got the glossy one)
1 old book no one reads
1 old thing
Since I didn't have enough sealer,
1 Multi-purpose Sealer by Americana
1 little brush that I got from the 99c store a thousand years ago

OH YEAH! Wear gloves and a mask. I could've probably died of the fumes lol. I don't know what I was thinking not wearing a mask. Also, I didn't wear gloves cus I thought the glue would come off easily. Maybe it was my multi-purpose sealer thing, but my nails have sealer all over them. It took me about 15 minutes of scrubbing to get them out of my hands, but I still have some sealer on my nails. I was gonna re-do my nails today too.

Have fun!
-m

Tattoos and Eggs

Last night I was trying to come up with designs for a new tattoo. Something small, not so noticeable, and if someone were to glance at it they would take a second look kinda thing. Which one do you guys like? I think I like the one on the left better cus it's less legible. Looks a little less English than the one on the right. I asked Instagram people and they picked the one on the right. Maybe cus the one on the right is darker? I have yet to find a great placement for this. Wooo!

I made eggs yesterday morning for breakfast :) I feel weird saying "yesterday morning" since I feel like it is supposed to be "this morning." I haven't slept yet, so yeah. Anyway... I kept the yellow in my eggs. I also cooked it differently today. I substituted salt with garlic powder. I don't think those contain salt, but they are pretty salty with a garlicky flavor. Next time I'm gonna try using actual garlic to mix in my eggs. I'm trying to find ways to cut down my sodium because other foods I eat contain sodium already without salt getting added to them.

Also I know the yolk part of the egg on the right looks like it would be really runny, it's actually not. When I cooked my eggs, I put the heat on low and covered the pan so that the top would get steamed instead of me having to flip it. I usually flip my eggs, but they always break and end up looking super fried lol. I like this way better. The yolk part of my egg was cooked perfectly. Nothing was too runny. LOVE IT!

Beddy bed time. I have work manana and today. I will take more pictures of some stuff for tomorrow.

Good night love birds <3
-m

Epilator - Remington

I finally bought myself a freakin epilator lol. I didn't know if I would really like it or not, so I just bought myself a cheap one from Walgreens. It was $29.99 and it came out to $32.26 with tax.
Remington Epilator
Here is my full-on review.

Good
- lightweight
- 2 settings. One for fine hair and the other for thick hair
- I don't have to replace batteries because it comes with a cord. I know others find corded stuff is pretty inconvenient, but I find batteries inconvenient too :( Although if it was rechargeable that would probably be much better. (Also much pricier)
- 42 tweezer thingies to pull your hair out.
- Curved. Great for legs and arms if you don't like hair on your arms.

Bad
- Corded. Now that I realize I would rather get a rechargeable one, I feel the cord is a burden. How am I supposed to epilate during bus rides? Lol jk.
- This one that I have is a bit too wide to use on my underarms and since it's curved, I feel like it's not really getting ALL the hairs. Unless I press really hard which in this case hurts because the tweezers end up pinching my skin instead.
- Clean up is a hastle. Hair falls everywhere. Be prepared for a rainfall of hair. If you have carpet, then put some paper towel on the floor or something. Or you can cut up plastic bags and lay them on the floor while you epilate yourself lol.

Pain
My tolerance for pain is, I guess, moderate. I don't really wax my legs/arms on a regular basis. Actually I only waxed my arms 2x and my legs 1x. I've never waxed my underarms before so if you can imagine my surprise when that epilator pulled the first strand.. haha.
- Legs: It wasn't that bad, but it wasn't pleasant either. It felt like exactly what it is: you plucking out your leg hairs. One by one. The inner part of my calves are more sensitive than the outer part, so it felt more like little pinches. Or ant bites!
- Thighs: Ehh.. it wasn't as bad as my inner calves lol.
- Arms: Ehh.. it wasn't as bad as my thighs lol.
- Underarms: HOLY CRAP YOU GUYS! Hahaha! I have never in my life imagined pain like that!!! This one felt like torture. The hair on my underarms grow faster than those on my arms or legs, so I shave this area more often. Which means the hair is not as thin in this area as other parts. Lol my epilator would attempt to pull a strand out and it would only come out half way! So I would have to do over again those parts that pulled only half out. It hurts so much :( I also couldn't get all the hairs out cus it kept pinching my skin. When I did stop, I went to the bathroom and put warm water on a paper towel. I thought this would calm down the pain. After that, it felt uncomfortably dry. SO I put lotion. BIGGEST MISTAKE EVER! It burned so much. I couldn't put my arms down lol. I thought maybe if I used the Vaseline lotion instead it would help, so fortunately I owned one that has pure oat extract which is used to calm down irritated skin. Didn't work either. I ended up putting bio oil there lol. That calmed it down finally. Ayiyiyi.. lol. Lesson learned. No lotion after you epilate.

I'm not gonna stop epilating on my underarms though, because maybe it's only like this the first time. Hopefully. I'll wait til they all start to grow back again to epilate. It's gonna take a while since they all got pulled out from the root. Best part about this though, no more razor burns, buying razor heads, shaving cream, etc etc. And of course, the hair grows back thinner every time. Booyah!

Maybe I'll invest in a cordless epilator next time around.

Have fun epilating <3
-m

Self Acceptance

Take a breath.

Lately I've been combating my own personal issues within myself and others. I don't understand my Filipino culture where everyone kind of feels the need to impress the people around them. Changing habits to accommodate someone else's insecurities, or even holding yourself back from things that make you happy as a person because other people feel inferior to your happiness.

Since when did everyone's approval mean you are suddenly more happy or successful. You will never be truly happy with yourself or have deep success if you rely on everyone else's opinions.

What's the point of buying that red dress that everyone likes when you love the blue one? You are going to wear that dress the whole party. You'll be smiling at pictures in that dress, dancing around in that dress, and mingling with others in that dress. They will all compliment it and say that you had such great taste and that they think you look so beautiful. You also would be loving all that attention. It's up to you on how you accept others' opinion. You could've also shown up in that blue dress you like so much. Smiling at pictures, dancing, and talking with others. Maybe you'll receive a whole bunch of compliments on how you look that night, or maybe you won't. When you see those pictures of you in that blue dress, you'll know you chose that for yourself. Not because others decided it was the better choice for you. When you remember dancing the night away in your blue dress, you'll know that you were so comfortable moving around in the dress that you chose. While you spoke with others that night, whether they commented negatively or positively about that dress you chose, you will know that they know that they can't change your mind on how you feel about what you choose. There will also be a new found respect for you, from them. You will also find stability and certainty in your decisions knowing that if you were the one that decided, no matter what they say, you will enjoy yourself. People will stop trying to trample you over because they just can't. You and your blue dress wins!

I am encouraging you all to be your own. Pick and chose what you like because you like it! Ditch the pounds because you want to, not because people make you feel uncomfortable or because those people on TV are thin. People who also have their hearts and mind in the right place will become attracted to you. That's why they say, "birds of the same feathers flock together." Next thing you know, you'll be surrounded with friends who are accepting of who you choose to be. You'll be more comfortable with yourself and most of all have self-respect.

At night time when you close your eyes, right before you fall asleep, realize that you are by yourself. You are the only one who is gonna make this work. You get to decide how you feel. Your heart pump its own blood. Finally, be glad! Once you realize what a great gift it is to know that only you can change things about yourself, you will be unbreakable.

I love you!
-m

My Regular Day and Venting

It wasn't until recently that I started waking up at 6:55AM. No matter how late I sleep or how tired I was the night before, I've been waking up around 6:55AM exactly and if not that exact time, I would wake up at 8:45AM. Weird. I guess it's a good habit since I'm in the process of speeding up my metabolism.

This morning was a 6:55AM kind of morning. Then I fell back asleep lol. Blah blah, went to work today, ate a nectarine, etc etc. It was an alright day over all. Except I was so sleepy the whole time and I wanted to throw everything off of my desk and just lay there. I will lay there and not care about who sees me.

You know how you shouldn't care about what people think? I still stand by that. Who gives a poop if what's-her-face doesn't like you? No body cares except YOU. Plus 5 years from now, what's-her-face is probably not gonna be around because she can't hang. Feel me?

Also here's a little something. This goes for guys and chicks. If someone is bringing you down they say it's because you are way ahead of them and misery loves company. Here's the short version: JEALOUSY. Home-skillet is jelly!! If I truly loved my best friend, and he/she was very successful in life blah blah blah, I would be genuinely happy for him/her. I would never try to sabotage her or drag her down to my level and stuff. If anything, I would use him/her as an encouragement for myself. Flipping it into a positive is better than... not flipping it into a positive lol.

So anyway, the other person's jealousy has nothing to do with you. It has to do with them. Whatever negativity they are directing at you, don't take it personally because you are not the one with a mental issue. It is them. Here's a thought: not everything is about you ;) Keep that in mind, lovers!

Time to KO!
-m

Zumba and Vitamins

I took a zumba class today at my local gym. It was only my second time and I was surprised at how well I was keeping up with the class. After the warm-up dance, I exaggerated all the dance moves only because you lose more calories that way. Sure enough I was sweating like I was in the sauna! I ended up losing between 600-800 calories for that hour. Woo! I also did my ab workout when I got home. 131 jumping jacks, 50 laying leg lifts, 50 laying side leg lifts, 40 Russian twists, 1 minute of the knee-high jumping ( I have no idea what the correct term for it is), and 40 butt bridges.

I also ended up buying green tea extract soft-gels. I'm still in the process of finding more vitamins to add to my collection. So far I have green tea extract, vitamin B complex, and vitamin C.

By the way, for whatever reason my armpits started to have a weird dark pigment. The deodorant I used was Secret then switched to Suave and now Dove. I don't see a difference. I exfoliate them before I shave (so I don't get ingrown hairs). Also, I moisturize them after every shower. I wash them after every workout so that the sweat doesn't settle there also it helps a lot with body odor. Today I bought a new deodorant. It's organic and chemical free. I hope this is gonna solve my little problem.

As for the scars on my arms, I have been putting Mederma Advanced Scar Gel on them. I use it once a day for about 2 weeks now. Can't say I've seen a huge difference, but I'll wait a little longer to decide if I really like this product. The scars on my arm were caused by my allergy to grass and leaves. Sometimes I get careless I accidentally brush my arm on plants nearby and blah blah. Anyways, the scars are relatively new and I am certain they will go away after a few more months of treatment.

This is all for now.

Toodles,
-m