Saturday, April 20, 2013
Thursday, April 18, 2013
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander.
I've been gone because I've been so exhausted with life. I don't know what happened to me, but I suddenly feel so down and disappointed in myself. I know I can do better. I know better, that's why but for some reason I let it happen worldly reasons.
That's the problem with me, I guess. As a Christian, I'm not supposed to give in to worldly temptations. Drinking, smoking, lust, lies, etc. I know I'm going to be forgiven also, and that already I am forgiven, but it's the shame that hides me. It keeps me in the dark. I hate the dark. I am a child of light. I shouldn't be in the dark.
I'm in fear that what I am doing is not going to cut it. I have to be better. I have to try harder. My faith that tomorrow will come and that I have a God to live for is what keeps me motivated to be a better person. I am certain my God will not fail me, although I keep failing Him. I don't even know where to start.. I guess I just have to start.
My struggle is real and it's killing me. It hurts my heart. My beating heart is feeling constricted with bad stuff. I can't explain better than that. I want to be a good example to my peers, but I'm not. I'm very overwhelmed with the fact that I am "looked up to" that I am put in a pedestal. I wish I wasn't. I wish that I didn't have so much pressure into being someone so good.
If that were the case, my world would be black and white. My love would not be real. My faith would decrease because there is no struggle, right? Where are you guys coming from? I'm scared.
I'm so afraid for my life and the life of the people around me whom I love so much. We all need to step up. I'm so scared. I have to be better! This shouldn't be this way. I'm so scared.
This may be ridiculous, but I'm going to do it anyway.
Please God, hear my cry to You. You are an Almighty God who has power over all. Save me from dying. I know I'm not worthy, but please forgive me. I'm so ashamed and I feel like hiding in a cave. I don't want to hide from You. Set my life on a path towards You. Please forgive my sins against you, free me from the bondages of earthly things. Take me with you. Free my heart. Free us all. Shed your light in this darkness, Lord. I love You most. Show me how to find You. Reside in my soul. Please forgive me, I want to be closer to You. I cheated on You, and I am so ashamed. Please I'm so sorry. Comfort me with Your relentless love. I am Yours! Clean me. Wipe my tears away.
Sincerely,
Yours
That's the problem with me, I guess. As a Christian, I'm not supposed to give in to worldly temptations. Drinking, smoking, lust, lies, etc. I know I'm going to be forgiven also, and that already I am forgiven, but it's the shame that hides me. It keeps me in the dark. I hate the dark. I am a child of light. I shouldn't be in the dark.
I'm in fear that what I am doing is not going to cut it. I have to be better. I have to try harder. My faith that tomorrow will come and that I have a God to live for is what keeps me motivated to be a better person. I am certain my God will not fail me, although I keep failing Him. I don't even know where to start.. I guess I just have to start.
My struggle is real and it's killing me. It hurts my heart. My beating heart is feeling constricted with bad stuff. I can't explain better than that. I want to be a good example to my peers, but I'm not. I'm very overwhelmed with the fact that I am "looked up to" that I am put in a pedestal. I wish I wasn't. I wish that I didn't have so much pressure into being someone so good.
If that were the case, my world would be black and white. My love would not be real. My faith would decrease because there is no struggle, right? Where are you guys coming from? I'm scared.
I'm so afraid for my life and the life of the people around me whom I love so much. We all need to step up. I'm so scared. I have to be better! This shouldn't be this way. I'm so scared.
This may be ridiculous, but I'm going to do it anyway.
Please God, hear my cry to You. You are an Almighty God who has power over all. Save me from dying. I know I'm not worthy, but please forgive me. I'm so ashamed and I feel like hiding in a cave. I don't want to hide from You. Set my life on a path towards You. Please forgive my sins against you, free me from the bondages of earthly things. Take me with you. Free my heart. Free us all. Shed your light in this darkness, Lord. I love You most. Show me how to find You. Reside in my soul. Please forgive me, I want to be closer to You. I cheated on You, and I am so ashamed. Please I'm so sorry. Comfort me with Your relentless love. I am Yours! Clean me. Wipe my tears away.
Sincerely,
Yours
Sunday, April 7, 2013
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